"Me"

I just watched a TED talk called "The Art of Being Yourself " by Caroline McHugh.  Amazing talk.  Caroline McHugh talked about "being yourself" and how there are two times in your life that you are truly good at being yourself.  When you're very young and when you're very old, are apparently the times when you are "yourself".  All that time in between "very young" and "very old" it seems you're kind of lost.  That got me thinking about myself. I have been doing some soul searching the past few years and by no means do I have things figured out, far from it.  There are a few things that I'm trying to pull out of the constant "noise" that goes on in my head and understand about myself. So, for this post these are my Top 5 Things about me.  These are things that I want to cultivate and grow, as well as things that I pretty much believe are a big part of what makes me, well...me.

#5  Creative

I've always been creative.  I've always loved art.  I remember taking drawing and art classes as a kid.  I remember in 2nd grade I made a penguin out of clay and I remember how proud I felt when my teacher complimented me on my penguin.  I took many art classes in college and my favorite classes were drawing classes.  When "life" happened (i.e. marriage, children) I stopped drawing for many years and only recently started drawing again.  Something I notice about drawing now...I don't care about the outcome.  It's truly the process for me now.  I don't care if I produce "frame worthy" artwork.  I just want to draw.  

#4   Awareness 

I get so busy doing, organizing, getting my people to and from wherever they need to go, cooking, washing, etc that I don't appreciate those little moments.  I want to be aware of what's going on around me.  I want to enjoy my family while we are all still here.  I've been better at this lately and I want to keep it up.

#3   Fearless

Sometimes I feel like I let the other people in my life dictate who I am.  I know I've spent most of my life trying to BE what I thought other people wanted or thought I should be.  I was the "wife" or the "mother" but I wasn't truly ME.  I know that sounds strange because being a wife and mother is defiantly a part of me, but for a very long time...I let those things take over as I tried to meet some sort of expected version of what those terms meant. I'm working on being "fearless" and doing things I want to do.  I'm working on NOT doing things that I don't want to do as well.  That's harder to do, I think.  I need to remember that it's ME who has to approve of ME...that's it.

#2   Be Healthy

That means every sense of the word...physically healthy and mentally healthy and spiritually healthy.  

#1   I want to be better than I was yesterday.
Some days it's all I can do to just make it through to when I can crawl back in between the sheets and try again tomorrow!  But some days I'm comfortable with myself.  Some days I'm even MORE than comfortable, I'm awesome! So long as I can keep moving forward, that's what I'm working towards. 

"Someday..."

"Someday I will get rid of all this junk."  
"Someday I'll focus on me." "Someday the credit card bills will get paid off."  
"Someday we'll take a trip to Hawaii."

Admit it, you've played the "Someday..." game.  We all have.  I've been playing it for MANY MANY years now.

Well, which day of the week is "Someday" exactly?  I've been waiting for it to come and I'm still waiting!

Two summers ago, my dad had surgery and needed some major help recovering.  I ended up moving in with him to help.  Now, that meant that I was basically trying to keep two houses going; my own home and my dad's.  I am still staying with him part-time which means this has had an impact on my husband and 2 boys.  Things are working out and there has definitely been some really good things to come out of this situation!  

And in September of 2013, my mom was diagnosed with Dementia.  Needless to say, that was quite a shock and it's taken me a long time to come to terms with essentially "losing" my mom.  I'm still dealing with this and some days are better than others.  Again, some good things have come from this. 

I will not bore you with anymore details, but I have learned some serious life lessons in the last couple of years.  The MAIN one being..."someday" is a horrible myth that I have believed in for a very long time.  The idea that one must "pay their dues" and then "someday" all will be rewarded is deceptive.  

Now, I'm not talking about anything related to religion or spiritual beliefs.  This is what we believe all the time, in everyday situations regardless of religious principals. We believe that when you reach some benchmark of your life...then all of a sudden the road will be clear for you to do all those things you've been putting off until "someday" comes.  Unfortunately, that's all bullshit (excuse my colorful language)!  You have to MAKE "someday" happen.

Take my mom, she is in her early 70s, beautiful, and perfectly healthy in every PHYSICAL way; but cannot dress herself without help.  She cannot go shopping.  She can't go on any trips.  She has someone who is taking very good care of her but this IS her "someday".  She is completely dependent on someone else.  Not the kind of "someday" she thought she would be having when she pictured her future life.

I have done some serious thinking over the last few months about all this "someday" stuff and here's my...

Top 5 Ways To Live Like "Someday Is Now"

#5  Forget keeping the house in "perfect" visitor-worthy condition.

This is something I've been fighting for a really long time, actually.  

My husband is a border-line hoarder (sorry honey...but you are!)

So, fighting about the junk that seems to be oozing out of every crevice has been a major part of our conversations for years.  Couple that with a teen-age boy...forget it! 

I'm done with spending mental energy worrying about how my house looks.  It boils down to do I want to spend time with my boys (which is limited anyway) or do I want to agonize over picking up all the legos, socks, clothes, etc?

#4   Take that trip!

Or at least take definitive steps to make it happen!

I have been telling myself that "someday" I'll take my boys to Hawaii.  I went with my parents and grandparents when I was in 5th grade and I still remember going to the Polynesian Cultural Center, watching the dancers, and the lovely smell of the flowers.
I want that experience for my boys and have been saying for years, "someday we'll go to Hawaii."  I opened a specific bank account to save money for a trip to Hawaii.  A while back I saw on Pinterest a way to save money pretty painlessly.  If you look up "52 Week Money Challenge", you can read the details.  Each week you save $1 more than the week before.  So week #1 save $1, week #2 save $2 and so one.  By the end of the year, you have just over $1,000!

#3  Do something for yourself!

This really doesn't need any explanation, but as a woman it is unbelievably difficult to do!  We have people who rely on us for everything! 

We forget to stop and take care of ourselves.    

Pedicure...manicure...stop at Starbucks and enjoy a few minutes just for yourself.

Exercise...I know you've heard this many times before.  But do it just for YOU!  Trust me on this one, you'll feel so much better!  You'll feel stronger both physically and mentally!  Every morning (well, let's be honest..about 3 mornings a week) I get up early and work out at home.   Some mornings it's only for a few minutes, but I still feel so good about myself when I'm done.  I do it for ME! No one else.  I take pride in that with each workout, I'm a little bit stronger, I'm just a bit better than I was yesterday.  And that't what it's all about...being better that you were yesterday.

#2  Re-connect with that long forgotten passion

I LOVE to draw.  I used to draw quite a bit in college and then "life" happened and I stopped.  I recently started again and interestingly enough, it's not about producing art that is frame-worthy.  It's just about drawing and that feeling I get while I'm doing it.  It is an absolute release.  I don't/can't think of anything else while I'm drawing.  

I keep a pencil and sketch book in the car so whenever I'm just sitting there waiting for whatever, I pull it out and start drawing.  

It's soul-feeding (if that's even a word). 

#1  BE HERE NOW!  (This one is the hardest for me.)

 You've seen all those quotes on Pinterest..."Be Present", "The present is a gift..." etc.

But it takes real mental energy to DO IT.  This is my goal.  Put my phone down.  Talk with my boys.  I'm trying to really stop and take in those moments which sometimes sneak right by and have disappeared before I even knew it was a "moment" to savor. 

"Someday" is a myth!  

"Someday" will never come...so stop waiting for it!  

Make YOUR "Someday" happen now!  

My Top 5 All-time Favorite Movies

Well...Hello!  It's been a while since I've added another Top 5 List to this blog.  On this day after Christmas, I find myself on the couch watching one of my all-time favorite movies (something I VERY, VERY rarely get to do) and I thought---blog post!

So here we go...I will stop dead and watch any of these movies if they 

happen to be on TV.

#5  Favorite Romantic Comedy-You've Got Mail.  Tom Hanks, Meg Ryan, Greg Kinnear-what's not to love!  "Oh, she's beautiful; but she's a pill!"  "What's with guys and The Godfather, hello?"  "I wanted it to be you so badly."  

 

#4   Favorite 80's Movie-Real Genius

I have come to realize that I've always been a geek/nerd.  I took computer programing in high school.  My dad had a Commodore 64 and I remember playing one of those text based games "You are lost in forrest and a troll jumps out at you. What do you do?"  I also remember writing computer programs using BASIC-I thought I was so cool when I got the Commodore to run an IF...THEN loop! Wow, I'm so nerdy! This movie just appeals to me.  I'd like to think that I'm like Chris Knight (Val Kilmer's character), nerdy but seriously overflowing with sarcastic cool-ness! (yea, I know...you don't have to say it.)  

Anyway, I love this movie-a goofy group of misfit geniuses are tricked into designing a secret military weapon by their college professor.  They win in the end by hacking the testing of this secret weapon and filling their college professor's house with popcorn!  You have the see the movie.  And I'd really like to know where they found Kent?  He's the guy you love to hate.  He's constantly tattling and getting everyone in trouble.

#3  Favorite John Hughes Movie-Pretty In Pink

Yes...I'm a product of the 80s.  What can I say?  Madonna's "Like A Virgin", neon everything, leg warmers, headbands, ugly shoes and in my opinion the BEST era for movies AND music!  

John Hughes was a genius at capturing that teen-age angst that we all felt!  Oh, the heartaches!  The crush on the beautiful Blane, ("His name is Blane? That's not a name-it's a major appliance!") and the faithful but goofy Duckie.  I love the ending where Andie tells her dad that she's going to the prom alone because she wants the "richies" to know that they didn't break her!  That's right Molly Ringwald, you go girl!!!!

 

#2 Favorite Musical-Grease 2

Now, I don't know if you'd really classify this one as a "true" musical, but I can sing EVERY single song in this movie! "I'm a cooo-ooool rider..." 

How can you not like Michelle Phiffer and her crush on the mysterious motorcycle rider dressed all in black?  Throw in the T-Birds and the Pink Ladies and you got yourself a darn good movie for a Saturday afternoon! Not to mention cuties like, Maxwell Caulfield and Adrian Zmed.

#1  Favorite Movie of All Time, you know the one I've seen a thousand times!  Casablanca.  Humphrey Bogart and Ingrid Burgman meet, fall in love, separate and then meet again.  So romantic.  A movie that has it all: a little mystery (who is Rick, really?), romance, the struggle between what is right and what the heart wants (should Ilsa run away with Rick or stay with her husband, Victor Lazlo?)  iconic music and dialogue and triumph over the Nazis.  I love the scene where Lazlo gets the band in Rick's to play the French anthem, much to the disgust of the Nazis who are trying to party it up.  So defiant!  

An interesting fact about the actor (Conrad Veidt) who played top Nazi, Major Strasser; he was  NOT a supporter of the Nazi regime.  In fact, he was once detained by the Nazi's when he refused to turn down a certain movie roll in a British film.  He was trying to return to England when the Nazis declared him "ill and unable to travel".   A British studio had to come to his aid and with the help of the British government, secured his release.  Interesting, huh?

I love that the movie is in black and white.  To this day, I absolutely love black and white photographs.  It just wouldn't be the same if it were in color.  

Well, there you have it...my Top 5 all time favorite movies.

Top 5 Reasons I Love Channel Islands Harbor

#5. Family time. 
This is our favorite spot to go spend time as a family. Ed and I have been coming here to sit on these rocks FOREVER! Long before kids and weddings, we came here to chill, eat lunch and relax. 

#4. Being outside. 
This one speaks for itself.  Whether sitting on a rock or sitting inside a kayak...air, sun & wind. 

#3. Water. 
I love looking at the ocean. The color is slightly different every time we come-which is a lot!
Watching sea lions swim by skimming the surface then slipping under to catch a fish.  It is a rare gift when dolphins come into the harbor to chase mackerel or sardines. So cool. 

#2.  Watching my boys explore the sea life. They have found giant starfish, purple sea urchins, baby crabs, and of course catching all kinds of fish! The way their faces light up when they feel that tug on the fishing line-priceless. 

#1.  RELAX & UNPLUG
Sitting still. Eating. Feeling the sun on my back. Reading. Not being in charge-even if it's just for a few minutes.  Ahhhhhhhh. 

Top 5 Things I Want To Remember About This Summer

So, I am trying to make more of a point to stop and take a mental snapshot of those little moments of my life that I tend to shove into some cobweb infested corner of my brain never to be heard from again.   This post is a list of a few of those moments from the summer that I do not want to forget.

 #5 Benji
This is Benji. When I moved in to my dad's house last summer to help him recover from surgery, Benji started coming for visits. He was a big furry Maine Coon who saw nothing wrong with jumping up on the couch and make himself right at home.   He would come over and cuddle and talk to us, which made us all forget about the scariness of helping my dad recover.  We all fell in love with Benji!  He would be at the back door each morning waiting for breakfast.  He would curl up and take a nap with Jonah while I got ready for work.  In June, Benji was hit by a car.  We all (even my dad) miss him terribly.  Even though he belonged to someone else, we adored him all the same. Thank you Benji for getting us through a tough year.
   

#4 Our Trip to Monterey

I love, love, love Monterey.  I love the smell of the air, the Monterey Bay Aquarium, Cannery Row and seeing otters floating out in the water.  

#3 Motorhome Make-Over

When my In-Laws got a new motorhome several years ago, they handed down their old 1986 model to us.  It has needed a make-over for a LONG time.  It still had the same 80's beige curtains and carpet (ewwwwww).  I ripped out all the carpet and sewed new curtains and cushions and my husband installed Pergo flooring.  I have wanted to do this for years and it feels good that we FINALLY did it!  It looks so nice!   Rincon...here we come!

#2 I said "Good-Bye" to my good friend, Melinda

My partner-in-crime work friend retired in June and is moving back to Kentucky.  She was the first person I met when I was hired at my school 12 years ago.  We became instant friends and got into all kinds of trouble together!  Which means we always volunteered each other to do stuff at work, we cooked waffles and pancakes for our staff, did workshops together, worked on committees together and came up with the bright idea of the now infamous "Gingerbread Week" (inside joke).   She has wanted to move back to Kentucky to be with family for a while now, so I am happy for her; but at the same time, I am going to REALLY miss her. 

#1 I WENT TO GOOGLE!

Oh my goodness...I got to attend a training for teachers at the GooglePlex in Mountain View this summer!  It was awesome!  I loved being on the Google campus.  I was inspired by all the design elements that Google sprinkles inside and out of their facilities.  I'm going to try to use some of those ideas in my own classroom.   Oh yea, and it was great to learn about how to integrate Google Maps and Google Earth into my teaching (which was the whole point of going to Google).

My Summer Top 5

As much as I don't want to admit it...Summer is winding down.  (Nooooooooo!!!!!) 

So, I need to make my Top 5 Summer list before the craziness of the school year starts.

Jonah playing in the water spouts at The Collection

#5   " No Rush Policy"

I try really hard during the summer NOT to rush anywhere!

 I'm not always successful, but during the school year, we always seem to be on the go. 

 There never seems to be any down time.  During the summer, I try to take "mental snapshots" of those simple moments that are all too rare.

Jonah with a bat ray

#4  Trips
We don't go on many trips, but summer is definitely a good time to go somewhere.  Whether it's a camping trip or a trip to Monterey, it's so nice to go in the summer when we don't have to worry about getting back home with enough time to do all that goes on with getting ready for the work/school week.   You know what I mean...laundry, grocery shopping, etc.  Ugh!
I love being able to go somewhere and not have to worry about washing that "vacation" laundry till Wednesday or Thursday (heck...who am I kidding? Vaca laundry doesn't get washed until late August! Am I right? 
You know I am!)

Me and Isaiah in Monterey

Isaiah being 13   :(

#3 Thinking/Planning for school
I know this sounds weird, but I enjoy thinking about school during the summer.  
I like to spent time surfing Twitter, Pinterest and in general looking around for ideas and inspiration.   Without the time crunch of the school year, summer is a  nice time to play and look at stuff for my classroom.

#2 Going out to breakfast
I LOVE eating breakfast in a restaurant.  Anytime is good for me, but again, I think it's the "no rush" thing.  Summer just screams "Go out to breakfast!" to me.  
Breakfast is my favorite meal.  Waffles.  Pancakes.  Fresh fruit. BACON! and yes, you guessed it...Coffee!
Everyone can order what they want and I don't have to clean the mess!

#1  Coffee

I know...I've made 2 Top 5 lists and coffee has made both lists! 

Well, what can I say?

On my Summer list, coffee represents that moment in the morning when my boys are still asleep and 

Good Morning America is on the TV, and I can savor my cup of coffee and really enjoy the "quiet-ness" of the morning.

  

Why Top 5?

So...why did I call this blog "My Top 5", you ask? 

I don't really know, exactly.  I created this blog to have a place to record my thoughts, ideas, memories and whatever else is running amok in my head.  I'm finding that the busier my life becomes, the more I get caught up in those daily details that in the long run, mean very little.  I wanted to have a place to record the Top 5 Things that are of interest to me at any given moment. 

 I will apologize right off the bat--this blog will run the gamut of my professional thoughts and philosophies, my personal favorites as well as my pet peeves!   

So, let's get on with my very first "official" Top 5 list:

#5    Chocolate....(Duh!  I'm a teacher!)

And to be specific, Sees Scotchmallows are my absolute favorite!

#4    Rincon, California.

It's a motorhome campground in between Ventura and Carpinteria.  It is my favorite place to camp.  Summer or Winter, it doesn't matter.  To look outside the motorhome window and see dolphins chasing fish in the waves...there's no place better!

#3    Cats...Ok, I know. But crazy cat-lady jokes aside, I love cats.  They are the best animals.  Sleek, aloof, cuddly (when they want to be), and funny!

#2    This is another "DUH!" favorite...COFFEE!

Oh my gosh!  That first sip in the morning-how you can feel the warmth slowly

 radiate through your entire soul! Sorry, I got carried away.

It was kind of difficult to delegate coffee to the #2 spot, but when you see #1-it was the only choice.  (I can only imagine the amount of flack I would have gotten if I switched and made coffee my #1)

And, a drum roll please.....

my #1 favorite thing--

My family (of course)

My two boys and my husband.  

Simply said, without them life would be meaningless.